I’ve asked myself constantly
What makes me so different
What cloudies my watters
And turns my soul into a rainy day
Where I’m more comfortable
Hung out to dry
Than safe in the shade
I never run out of things to say
Or stop counting the many ways
That I can find to hold on
But I hold a big grudge
When I feel like everyone else is gone
And I’m omnipresent
Feeling the blows
Of all of my heartbreaks
With every single passing second
I just want to breathe
But there’s a codependency
That brings out the worst in me
I’m burning up
Because as much as I try
I feel like I’m never enough
I’m just a glass half empty
An infinitely busted cup
I try to sit to analyze myself
It’s all a lot of boxes
Taking up shelves
A lot of emptiness
With no sign of a swell
It’s a crowded wishing well
But every coin is just
Rusted pennies
I’m a diamond in the rough
But the shine isn’t reflecting
It’s a glow up
Lacking a fuse
It’s discovering the “new you”
While still feeling like old news
Or wearing out the sole
On your favorite pair of shoes
And I just want to break free
But there’s these chains
Binding me
They keep me trapped
Perpetually
I just want to move on
Yet I feel stuck in place
With all of my momentum gone
I’m burning up
Because my love feels like a fire
That is never hot enough
And my dreams are illusions
Simply smoke and mirrors
There’s no future version of a story
Where we calculate the years…